Of everything I miss...

Had an interesting dream about this pyramid that served as a dam to hold in a lake. This pyramid was haunted by football players who turned out to be pretty nice guys. It was owned by a crazy old man and a group of kids that would fit into the Beyond anime short really well. A lot of people wanted to steal this pyramid, because the dirt there was high in acidity, making it perfect for growing pot. I have no idea if this is scientific or not. Of course, not only was it haunted, it was infected by huge freaking rattlesnakes. Suddenly, I was pulled into it as a controllable person. My dad was trying to kill one of the snakes by injecting it with poison. He succeeded, but in it's dying twitches, it spat its own venom onto him, placing Dad in a comatose state.

After that, I don't really remember anything else.

The clock lies to me, it tells me I have time, numbers that are MINE, but that's not true. It was never true. In this repetition I call my life, I gain control at the price of awe, wonderment, pleasure of living. Things do change, and they have been for a while - at the cost of stability. At the cost of control. What I can do, what I can't do...how do I know which is which? At what point am I supposed to quit trying?

Maybe today will improve. I doubt it will start at work - that happens once every couple of months, no more. This means I will be lousy company tonight. Ugg. I need to focus on something positive.

- I'm in love with a person who loves me back. I can think of few things greater.
- I'm eating like a pregnant woman - ramen + onions + Peanut Butter cracker sandwiches, all mashed into one. Peculiarly tasty.
- Sarah is coming. Exciting times.
- I have almost all of the latest A Perfect Circle album.
- I have an absolute deluge of inspiration blasting my brain with images.

I won't list the bad, because it's longer than the good list. That would be depressing, to write them all down.