...think you better turn your ticket in...
Wednesday, 23 July 2003 23:46![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zachariahI dislike hick authorities. The ones that ride around at night and try to make trouble where there should be none. The kind that come up on me when I'm taking a nap off the side of the highway and tell the dispatcher that I look drunk, and after questioning me, lies and says I said I was feeling sick, when I said NO SUCH THING. So they send a first-response medical unit who spends all of three second talking to me, then promptly joins the little group of no less than 8 other people who have gathered around my car to just gossip or whatever. I was in cop freaking central. With no car insurance. This is Zach, living on the edge. Yes, of course one of the policemen asked. I told the truth, and he lectured me on the whole needing liability coverage thing. Duh, dude, as if I WANT to pay for wrecks out of my butt. I was very quiet and very polite, and thank GOD he let me off with a warning. My heart stopped for a second, man, I was that tense. Felt like it, anyway. I mean, whoa. 2 volunteer (or not) firemen, one EMT guy, two cops, one guy's (presumably) wife and son, and two guys who just showed up and started talking to the gathered as if they belonged. I really dislike hick authorities.
Yes, I am trying to get insurance. I have to pay off my car before I'll be able to afford it. Truth.
[/anger]
[adoration]
I was with Renee for 28 hours. I so counted. She took away my watch, which drove me a little more crazy than I let on. I must have a watch on. Must. So addicted to time. *shakes head* We spent most of it talking, amazingly, because I am not a super conversationalist. I accidentally fixed her CDRW drive, which I was proud of. She prolly just unhooked it to give me an excise to get inside her computer. Devious. Or not! heh XD We watched a couple movies, too (Spirited Away = GORGEOUS, even though they used the same animation twice. Looks like they did.), and we almost slept together. Almost slept. I kept her awake with my booming heartbeat, which I was so embarassed about. Like, shut up, heart! :) Her mom can COOK. Wow. I need her and Matt to live in my house and just fix me food. Small amounts every three hours, as I have gotten used to a snacking schedule. Alas.
I adore her, and want her to be happy, and I don't know how I can possibly do that. There's no real script, and I refuse to let this be a game, something for either of us to win. She enjoys winning things, but this whole relationship, it CANNOT be a game. I refuse. And this makes it harder, realer, makes me look at things and deal with them like I normally don't. I can't shrug this off, because I do care, and I cannot walk away. I am going where she will take me, and I will not follow when she lets me go. I will not force myself on her. Renee, if I do...cuff me and run away.
That's called open communication. I will not hide what I feel, not this time.
Yes, I am trying to get insurance. I have to pay off my car before I'll be able to afford it. Truth.
[/anger]
[adoration]
I was with Renee for 28 hours. I so counted. She took away my watch, which drove me a little more crazy than I let on. I must have a watch on. Must. So addicted to time. *shakes head* We spent most of it talking, amazingly, because I am not a super conversationalist. I accidentally fixed her CDRW drive, which I was proud of. She prolly just unhooked it to give me an excise to get inside her computer. Devious. Or not! heh XD We watched a couple movies, too (Spirited Away = GORGEOUS, even though they used the same animation twice. Looks like they did.), and we almost slept together. Almost slept. I kept her awake with my booming heartbeat, which I was so embarassed about. Like, shut up, heart! :) Her mom can COOK. Wow. I need her and Matt to live in my house and just fix me food. Small amounts every three hours, as I have gotten used to a snacking schedule. Alas.
I adore her, and want her to be happy, and I don't know how I can possibly do that. There's no real script, and I refuse to let this be a game, something for either of us to win. She enjoys winning things, but this whole relationship, it CANNOT be a game. I refuse. And this makes it harder, realer, makes me look at things and deal with them like I normally don't. I can't shrug this off, because I do care, and I cannot walk away. I am going where she will take me, and I will not follow when she lets me go. I will not force myself on her. Renee, if I do...cuff me and run away.
That's called open communication. I will not hide what I feel, not this time.
