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Wednesday, 19 March 2003
Out of my mind. Be back in 5 minutes.
Wednesday, 19 March 2003 03:47My livejournal will not let me adjust the size of the posting client window. *frowns* Oh, well, at least I can still manually change it. *mutters something about monkeys and crap*
So I was reunited with my yearbook today. Wow. I don't know if I've mentioned this here before, but you really don't know what you've got until you lose it. Even I, with my swiss cheese brain, was having some intense memories while reading through it. Kinda reminds me of what a big fat failure I've been so far. Example? In high school, I was the number one (well, top 4 at LEAST) chess player in the entire school system. Now? I barely play anymore. It's not because I don't enjoy the game, oh no. It's simply because I am unwilling to put time and effort into an activity I know I enjoy!! I won't get into the whole list of how I've obviously suffered a Stupid Attack since graduation, but believe me, I have. And tonight it is quite in the front of my brain, so to speak.
Something funny. Today Bo remarked (I'm not sure if he was serious) that my lot in life is to be a tool. He claims in deed and action I let everyone step all over me, I do stuff for others, and I don't defend myself against verbal and mental abuse. For a large part, he's quite on the money. He says I still don't accept I'm a tool, and this is why I'm so discontent. Apparently, once I accept this lot in life, I will be happy.
Bo is staying with Jeff the next two days, so I'll hopefully have time to attempt something new. Screw sleep. I'm blurry eyed, bushy-tailed, and hopping mad.
So I was reunited with my yearbook today. Wow. I don't know if I've mentioned this here before, but you really don't know what you've got until you lose it. Even I, with my swiss cheese brain, was having some intense memories while reading through it. Kinda reminds me of what a big fat failure I've been so far. Example? In high school, I was the number one (well, top 4 at LEAST) chess player in the entire school system. Now? I barely play anymore. It's not because I don't enjoy the game, oh no. It's simply because I am unwilling to put time and effort into an activity I know I enjoy!! I won't get into the whole list of how I've obviously suffered a Stupid Attack since graduation, but believe me, I have. And tonight it is quite in the front of my brain, so to speak.
Something funny. Today Bo remarked (I'm not sure if he was serious) that my lot in life is to be a tool. He claims in deed and action I let everyone step all over me, I do stuff for others, and I don't defend myself against verbal and mental abuse. For a large part, he's quite on the money. He says I still don't accept I'm a tool, and this is why I'm so discontent. Apparently, once I accept this lot in life, I will be happy.
Bo is staying with Jeff the next two days, so I'll hopefully have time to attempt something new. Screw sleep. I'm blurry eyed, bushy-tailed, and hopping mad.
