(no subject)

[zachariah]

So my comfort level with friendship is too far. Far, at least; I admit that. My housemate is an angry little jerk who has many annoying qualities. We despise each other, so we can happily insult and rant at each other, mean every word, and still comfortably share an apartment. My best friend lives an hour away and does so many things he no longer has time to spend with me. I've seperated from my family by moving away, dropping out of church and out of school. I work two jobs and sleep and zone out on the computer so I don't have to deal with people. None of that really hurts me.

What hurts me is when I TRY to reach out, I TRY to make closer friends or involve myself in some silly little game or group. Invariably, I withdraw! Almost always I back off, go back to my isolated world. I can't handle close relationships, and I don't quite know why. It's gotta be some psychological thing, and I've tried getting past it, but I can't.

I can't afford a shrink, and I don't trust anyone I know to help me, so I guess I may as well stay in my world of distant companionship. *acid*

Comments

[godhand.livejournal.com]

If you put your left hand on your monitor on the right side of your screen, then it would almost be like we were touching. Does it crackle? Means it's real.

...it also means you need to clean your monitor. XD

Wanting to love someone isn't bad.

I <3 you, boy whom I don't understand that makes me laugh.

Moof.

[echthroi.livejournal.com]

You're crazy. And I'm stupid. I'm sorry I can't be as accepting of you as you seem to be of me. o_0

2nd verse, same as the 1st verse.

[dinari.livejournal.com]

Meep memeep! Meeeep meep. What's that Beaker? Er.. No, I don't have a pick-axe. No, sorry.. no hammer either. What on earth would you need a giant pair of tongs for? N.. no.. Beaker.. what are you doing..??

No! Not that button!

*boOM*

*cough cough*

Mepmepmep! heh

*hugglies you*

It never hurts to reach out to someone once in a while. o.O Who am I to talk though? Since I'm away from just about everyone I know in person.. I've resorted to clinging to my computer and interacting with everyone online. The best I can do.

Re: 2nd verse, same as the 1st verse.

[echthroi.livejournal.com]

But it does hurt! And pain sucks. Blah.

That is one INTERESTING rant/whatever there. Beaker?? heh XD

Re: 2nd verse, same as the 1st verse.

[dinari.livejournal.com]

What? You never watched Muppets?

Re: 2nd verse, same as the 1st verse.

[echthroi.livejournal.com]

Nope. Not much TV as a kid, and as a teen I was never sucked into the muppets. Preferred sitcoms and spy shows XD